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THE ATOMIC
TELEVISION
NETWORK
Baltimore Public Access
Cable Television
"Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto"
[Quicktime MP4] [YouTube]
During the holiday season of 1997, I had a sudden epiphany while listening to James Brown's "Santa Claus Goes Straight To the Ghetto." White Christmas? Bah humbug! Suddenly I had visions dancing in my head, not of sugar plums but of billy clubs, Rodney King, rioting, looting, and arson. And of a guy dressed in red with a big sack...named Fat Albert! Like Dylan's lyrics, not sure what it all means, but here it is for your bemusement.
posted by Scott "Unpainted" Huffines on Friday, November 25, 2005
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"Heat Miser/Cold Miser" by The Krudz
[Quicktime MP4] [YouTube]
Are The Krudz the worst local Baltimore band ever? Nepotism rules supreme in the Atomic Universe, so I let my brother's "band" join in the Xmas festivities in this clip from the Atomic TV 1997 Holiday Special: "Holiday at Ground Zero."
The Krudz soon went on the play the Kiss/Devo show only to fade into obscurity.
posted by Scott "Unpainted" Huffines on
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WHAT IS ATOMIC TV?
Short Answer:Atomic TV is "A Media Maxi-Pad absorbing the continual flow of Pop Culture." It is bio-degradable and thus may be flushed down any toilet.
Long Answer:
ATOMIC TV is the red-haired, freckle-faced stepchild of Baltimore Public Access TV's programming family, a breech baby painfully squeezed out of the birthing canal of that negligent mother we call City Cable. Cloven-hoofed and horn-rimmed, this Hell-spawned birth defect had its butt cheeks dutifully slapped by the attending programming authorities upon its debut in 1997 before the bloody mess was handed back to its deadbeat biological fathers, TOM WARNER & SCOTT HUFFINES, its dangling umbilical cord quickly hooked up to coaxial cable for instant reception into the cable community. Often imitated (see LOST AND FOUND VIDEO), rarely surpassed in ineptitude, it remains another chapter in Baltimore's cultural Hall of Shame, alongside our Holy Trinity heritage of Homicide, Heroin and STDs. An archaic medium in these fast-paced days of High Tech Vodcasting and Broadband Video Streaming, it still has its appeal to our peers in the Great American Economic Underclass. In other words...it's free! It airs on Baltimore City Cable Channel 75. Despite Freedom of Information requests by the public, its exact broadcast time has not yet been declassified by the authorities. Stay tuned and stay the course. If you don't have TiVo, we suggest staying up 24/7 to insure you don't miss a thing.
Awards:
Related links:
Mayor's Office of Cable & Communications (MOCC)
Baltimore Update (Public Access TV Forum)
Baltimore Grass Roots Media
Baltimore Public Access Channel 75's Random Schedule
posted by Scott "Unpainted" Huffines on Wednesday, November 23, 2005
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Underdog Sings "Silent Night"
[Quicktime MP4] [YouTube]
Distraught over the loud noises of Garage Sale's secular rendition of "Silent Night," "Underdog" enlists the band to join her in a sacred rendition of the Christmas hymn.
posted by Scott "Unpainted" Huffines on Monday, November 21, 2005
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Garage Sale's "Silent Night"
[Quicktime MP4] [YouTube]
Garage Sale tosses away the sacred and goes for the profane with their secular rendition of "Silent Night," only on Atomic TV! Plus, "Underdog Lady" critiques the band!
posted by Scott "Unpainted" Huffines on Sunday, November 20, 2005
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Berserk "(If I Was) Ultra 7"
[Quicktime MP4] [YouTube]
From VH1's BEHIND THE MUSIC: "Camera-shy Dave Cawley had to be coaxed with Pixie Stix and Jolt Cola to step in front of Tom Warner's unblinking video lens and bare his artistic soul, but the resulting music video for this Berserk toe-tapper was well worth it. Shot in front of Towson University's Fine Arts Zen Garden and a local 7-11, and intersperced with Ultraman TV clips and live footage from Berserk's 1998 Ottobar Reunion show, it was Warner's attempt to put his favorite Berserk song on ATOMIC TV. 'I just hope Skizz forgives me for not having any shots of him in there,' Warner apologized, 'But I didn't get close enough at the Ottobar show to get him in frame.'" To view more Berserk clips, including drummer Skizz Czyzk's awesome "My Love Is So Big" video, check out the video ATOMIC TV #9, "The Berserk Reunion" episode, available through Atomic Books and Video Americain.
posted by Scott "Unpainted" Huffines on Thursday, November 17, 2005
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Tom Warner, "Almost Hip Guy"
Tom Warner's Blog:
Accelerated Decrepitude
http://accelerateddecrepitude.blogspot.com/
Tom on Myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/almosthipguy
Tom's Flickr Page:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/56593959@N00/
Tom's Film Programs:
Check out my "Classic Classroom Scare Films" screening at the Enoch Pratt Central Library on Saturday, January 28 from 2 to 4 p.m., featuring One Got Fat (the scariest bicycle safety film ever ), hotrod speed demon Dick York (later to be immortalized as Darrin on TV's Bewitched) in The Last Date, and Scott Baio as a stoner in Stoned: A Drug Story!
posted by Scott "Unpainted" Huffines on Sunday, November 13, 2005
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Is Atomic TV still on Baltimore City Cable?
Yes... but since we aren't a communist, socialist or religious program we have had difficulties procuring a time slot. (For a listing of the commie, socialist or religious programming, check Baltimore Grass Roots Media's site.) So far, we've been following Bing Crosby's "Holiday Inn" schedule, only putting on holiday shows. The Halloween episode aired in October, our Thanksgiving episode aired in November (are you starting to see a pattern here?) and our Black History Month episode should air this Wednesday or Thursday sometime after 10 p.m., unless The Powers That Be decide to censor it again, like they did last year. All we did was highlight lesser known areas of Af-Am achievement, such as the choreography in rap booty videos and the contributions made by black porn stars to the adult film industry (see interviews with Menage a Trois, Ghetto Booty star Chaos, Sierra, Nikki Fairchild, Brian Pumper, and Jack Napier), plus tributes to Blowfly and Blaxploitation stars like Rudy Ray Moore (Dolemite) and William Marshall (Blacula).Remember, City Cable now broadcasts Public Access programming on Channel 75.
Related links:
Baltimore Public Access Channel 75's Totally Random Schedule
posted by Scott "Unpainted" Huffines on Saturday, November 12, 2005
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Underdog Battles Satan Claus torrent
[Download torrent via TorrentBox] [BitTorrent FAQ]
A tasteless post-holiday treat that we continue to ram down your throat like gramma's untouched fruitcake...
Download this classic episode's torrent for free so you can start your New Year right! (Or at least better than Scott who had a pukin'/shittin' stomach virus or Tom who got his neck caught in a Chinese parka from Target!)
The torrent contains the complete VIDEO_TS directory so that you too can sit home and watch our crappy animated menus in style! If you don't know about torrents I guess you need to fire up Google search. And please remember to seed! (And we don't mean that in an Adam and Eve repopulate the earth kind of way...)
posted by Scott "Unpainted" Huffines on Thursday, November 10, 2005
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ATOMIC TV ARCHIVES
Click a link to view videos from previous months
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November 2005
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December 2005
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January 2006
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February 2006
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March 2006
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December 2006
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January 2007
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February 2007
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March 2007
©2006, Atomic TV, Tom Warner & Scott Huffines, Baltimore, Maryland
