The "Dating Do's & Don'ts" Episode
(Atomic TV Volume 4)

Attention all you wood-be Svengali's and estrus-oozing Mati Hari's. We collected the best pickup lines overheard at the Cross Street Meet Market during the '97 Cross Street Festival and tempered them with the timeless advice of vintage 50s how-to mating and dating films like Dating Do's and Don'ts, Junior Prom and Going Steady all as a public cervix to Baltimore singles. We even got the Martha Stewart of Dating Etiquette, legendary local bachelorette Chastity Darling (You've no doubt witnessed her shameless flirting at her habitual weekend roost ,The Club Charles), to host our special. From "Do you have mirrors in your pockets, 'cause I can see myself in your pants?" to "Didn't we meet before, at the methadone clinic?" we've got the best and worst pickup lines for you to gag on or put to use (or abuse).

Long-suffering bachelorette Chastity Darling shares her woes

Scott Huffines poses the "Do Chicks Dig Sweaty Oafs?" Survey

Are you a natural blonde?" Scott queries, "or do you always have an aneurism
when you open your mouth?

Garage Sale guitarist Dave McD gives Mr. Camera his sweet and sensitive look

So whaddya say chicky baby? You, me, a cattle-prod and a six of Boh this Saturday night?

Why of all the nerve! I'm NOT your 'bitch'!

Weenie Roast Parties tend to unleash repressed homoerotic tendencies

You can take the girls out of Dundalk... but ya can't take the Dundalk out of these girls!

Back at ya!

Atomic TV pounds its chest proudly

You say you like apples? Then let's go back to my place and fuck!
How 'bout them apples?

'Don't burst my balloon,' sez anonymous buffoon

So you DON'T like sweaty oafs?

Dark-tressed vaclempt beauty Rachel does her best Pippi Longstocking impression

Rachel does her Lorena Bobbitt at a weenie roast impression

Rev. Bill Stevenson sez: "You don't sweat much for a FAT girl!"

Shameless self-promotion for Atomic Books

Atomic TV's Official Disclaimer Girl Mychelle stops traffic on Charles Street!

Mychelle has the bends

Mychelle puts her breast foot forward

Mychelle and a very gay-looking Tom say goodnight to viewers