Atomic TV Reviews

"ATOMIC TV is a Chernobyl-sized meltdown of twisted video in the world of cable access television"

"ATOMIC TV never fails to ask the tough questions about menstruation, bestiality and artificial genitalia in their pursuit of fringe journalism excellence."

"Like a 50-megaton hydrogen bomb, ATOMIC TV blows away boring network television and the mediocrity for which it stands."

Damaged #6 Spring 2000
ATOMIC TV, Volumes 10-13

In the last issue of DAMAGED, I said that I have seen a revelation and that it was Atomic TV. I was wrong.

Atomic TV is probably the greatest TV show I have ever seen in my life. It has everything that a great TV show should: the crass humor of a good episode of Mama's Family, more guest stars than Love Boat and Fantasy Island combined and more T&A than five episodes of VIP. Add to the mix only the best videos that you will never find on MTV, interviews with people who will never be on Jay, and real-life adventures that even the Croc-Hunter couldn't even imagine.

In the last four episodes of Atomic TV, our hosts Tom and Scott do and see more in a collective eight hours than I have done in my 21 years of existence.

Are you a big fan of pornography? If you are the average DAMAGED reader, then that will be a big yes. Check out Volume 10, "The East Cost Video Show Porn Convention Episode." It is filled with wall-to-wall silicone enhancements and wall-to-wall Ron Jeremy. Porn starlet Rayveness show us how to work and clean her artificial vagina, ex-porn actor Jerry Butler shows us how he prepares his Thanksgiving meal in a disgusting scene that literally has to be seen to be believed. Hot as hell Rebecca Lord is interviewed and drooled over. To top it off, a long lost film with Jean Claude Van Damme as a ball-grabbing Tae Kwan Do testicle tickler.

Volume Eleven is a special episode designed to teach us backwards Oklahomans how they do arty stuff up north. In "Artscape," the boys go under the dress of a gigantic Mrs. Buttersworth, we meet the Thunderbirds Are Go! outcast Bud and see a nun do some crazy ass-kicking for the Lord. Also included are videos from the gorgeous Francoise Hardy, the incredible Air and the banned from MTV video "Smack My Bitch Up" from Prodigy. The second half is from the "Cones and Rods Art Show": people urinating, music by Garage Sale and the Put Outs and lazy hipper-than-thou twenty- somethings shun free prizes from the Atomic Bookstore!

What is this crazy J-Pop that I am always talking about? Well, use Volume Twelve as a textbook and learn for yourself. The extremely hot publisher of Cha Cha Charming, Sheila B., co-hosts with Tom as they give us a run through in the best of Japanese pop, which puts our American shit to shame. Judy and Mary, Puffy, My Little Lover, and best of all, Emmanuel "Webster" Lewis singing in Japanese! That alone is worth the price.

You want to know why I want to move to Baltimore? To be at the next Atomic TV Labor Day Cookout. In Volume Thirteen, we are invited to watch all the insanity and hilarity that ensues. So grab some big- ass hot dogs, put in the microwave and pop this episode in the VCR. Not only do we get to be part of the festivities, we also get to see videos from They Might Be Giants and The Ramones. To top that off, one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life, Chastity Darling, is in attendance. Jesus, is she hot. I think I am in love. Oh yeah, and Tom sucks on some feet. It's pretty nasty to watch. But, in the next hour, we are also invited to Atomic TV's 200th Episode Parry, where more "what the hell are we doing here" fun is had. The incredible short films Worst of Public Access and High Tech Noon are also here, as well as videos by J-Poppers Puffy.

Order episodes at Atomic Books' website at or see the ad in this issue. Do it now and tell `em that Louis sent you.

--Louis Fowler

A Reader's Guide to the Underground Press
Atomic TV, volume 1: Enjoyable cut-and-paste cable-access hijinx. Scenes
from campy, obscure old movies are intercut with music videos and an
on-the-street interview with a shirtless 1990s beardo-weirdo. Plus, much
wackiness ensures when two nuts offer Cibo Matto a mountain of junk food.
I laughed out loud often at the insane archival movie clips (good posture,
drive-in concession stand ads, man survives atomic explosion…), and
fast-forwarded through two out of three musical interludes (enjoyed the
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, though). No particular point was detected
except to have a good time, and that’s exactly what happened. All in all
this is a fuckin’ fine way to waste an hour – and then, just when I
thought it was over, there’s a second episode on the same tape.
—Doug Holland

A Reader's Guide to the Underground Press
Atomic TV v2: Two episodes of a Baltimore cable access TV show. The first,
The "Viewer Discretion is Strongly Advised" Episode, gets much better when
iit goes away from the "Rock Star" host and his girlfriend being boringly
naughty in a public bathroom. It has a great retrospective of Rudy Ray
Moore film trailers, music videos of Baltimore bands (Beserk, Rock Stars,
Garage Sale), a film about making art with tape and lots of "found" old
movie theater graphics and old TV commercials. The ending credits are the
best part but I won’t spoil it for you. The "Videoscramble" Episode is
even better, featuring old toy commercials ("Screaming Meme" toy guns that
shoot whistling plastic grenades!) and other TV bits and pieces. It also
has hilariously bad and obscure music videos, a LONG General Motors
utopian dream fantasy, and a good short film by someone named Bump
Stadelman. At first I was thinking that these would be better viewed on
TV, late at night as you chanced upon them. But then I became very happy
I had a fast forward button to skip past the parts that didn’t interest
me. Overall, it could use a little more editing, but if you like retro TV
stuff and old film trailers it’s probably worth the money. —Gordon